God-In My View

This thought just came to my mind when I came out of my hostel and was going to leave for office and saw the vinayaga sculpture near the gate. Every day I see him there and as I see him my fingers automatically touches the forehead and then lips and then a line flashes in my mind that everything today should go fine for everybody... and when I think of it now very deeply it’s almost a recorded one and starts playing automatically when I see him.. (Even when I am running out of time, not in a good mood or whatever...).

I don’t know whether I am a theist or atheist… I don’t remember from when I know him or how I know him… Form the scratch of mind what I could remember is my mom making me to hold palm together and asked me to wish something I long for… but not materialistic not be self centered.. I couldn’t find anything to suit that words said by her… The line that could pop into my mind was this line… Everything today should go fine for everybody... couldn’t find anything more than that… As the year passed there were a lot of modifications in my wishes according to that age and situations...

Now when I analyze things that to whom I was making all these wishes… I realize that it was to me. I saw myself into him and wished something should come true… It was like asking me to do something to achieve something. I prayed to him in the morning that I should tackle some problem and the rest of the day I put myself inner and inner to do the same... In the evening i will just complaint or appreciate about myself and friends to him... Every day was like this… Just saying wishes to me that I could do and something that I could only wish... Complaining, arguing, discussing... and what more... Everything all to myself... Me to me conversation… Isn’t sounds funny… For me yes its sounds so... Even to engage in a conversation to into the inner side myself I needed someone else help... But I am happy. For people like me who find difficult to converse with ourselves... who don’t know to think complex things.. It’s really nice to be a theist (in the meaning of what I have understood theism)… It’s just like to be with myself…